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Marriage is one of the biggest decisions of a person's life. Choosing who you are going to spend the rest of your life with is not an easy call to make for everyone. Most people are almost clueless about how they are going to decide if they should marry the person they have in mind. Of course, love and respect are the biggest decision-makers when it comes to matters of marriage, but there are also some other important discussions that you need to have with your partner before you tie the knot.

While these conversations may seem difficult to have at first, they are extremely crucial to the growth of your relationship.

On that note, let's go over the most significant 15 questions which you must ask your partner before you get hitched!

11 Important Questions To Ask Your Partner Before You Get Married

1. How do you want to deal with finances?

Finance is a crucial factor that a lot of couples don't consider before they get married. How will we divide the expenses? Will we have a joint account apart from our separate accounts? These two are really good questions to ask your partner before engagement. You must be open and honest about your income and debts with your partner. It is also a really good idea to discuss financial goals so the two of you can work on them together. 

2. Do you want children in future?

Before you get married, you cannot skip having a conversation with your partner about having or not having children in the future. If you and your partner can envision having a kid together somewhere down the line but don't want to plan anything right now, you can surely figure that out later on. However, if one of you definitely wants kids and the other absolutely does not, then it is going to be a huge problem. This is why you must be completely honest with your partner about this aspect of life. 

3. How will we divide chores?

We are walking past the era when household chores were only imposed on a woman. So, it is a good idea to talk to your partner about how the two of you are going to divide the household chores. Would it be fixed? Or would you alternate every week? Talk it through and come to a conclusion that is fair to both of you. 

4. What are your views on parenting?

This applies to the couple who has decided that they want to have a kid in the future. Touching base on the subject of having children is not all. You must also discuss your parenting styles. It is also important to talk about who will stay at home to take care of the baby while the other one works or if you will take turns or if you will hire someone to take care of the baby while both of you go to work. 

5. What are your fears and triggers?

While you must already know your partner's dreams and passions, it is also equally important to know what triggers them and what is their biggest fear in life. This question will help your partner open up to you but you must make sure that you listen to them without judgement. Don't jump to give them solutions. Listen to them and make note of what they say. This can help you love and care for your partner in a unique and beautiful way. 

6. How do you deal with conflicts?

Conflicts happen in all relationships. You must make peace with the fact that you and your partner are going to have fights in the future. However, your approach to those conflicts is something you can discuss. Knowing your partner's communication styles now can save you from a lot of anxiety in the future. You can ask your partner if they require some space right after a heated argument or if would they rather talk right after a fight. 

7. What are your views on religion and spirituality?

Regardless of whether you are a religious person or not, you must talk to your partner about their views on religion and spirituality. You and your partner don't have to have the exact same thoughts and feelings when it comes to religion and spirituality. However, it is important that you and your partner are respectful towards each other's religious and spiritual views. 

8. What kind of lifestyle do you want?

It might not occur to many, but a discussion about the kind of lifestyle that your partner wants needs to take place before you get married. After all, the two of you are going to be living together for the rest of your life. It is okay to not have the exact same views on this but if you do have different wishes when it comes to lifestyle, it would be nice to talk about how you can work it out. For example, if you want to have a house with a garden but your partner wants a flat in a high-rise building, maybe you can get a flat in a high-rise building with a terrace or a kitchen garden.

9. What is your approach to intimacy? 

Many shy away from talking about it but intimacy plays one of the biggest roles in your relationship. So, you must talk to your partner about your likes and dislikes, and what you are comfortable and uncomfortable with, openly. Create a safe space, free of judgement where you and your partner can discuss intimacy. You should be able to share your wants and desires with your partner. 

10. How can I help you when you are low? 

Knowing what your partner would like you to do when they are feeling low is a very helpful tool. It is a good idea to have an upfront conversation about it where your partner tells you if they would like to be alone or if they would like your company when they are struggling. 

Source Gaatha

Must Read: The Importance of Pre-Marriage Counselling: How it Can Strengthen Your Relationship!

11. What kind of wedding do you want?

Now that the two of you have decided that you want to marry each other, it is also important to talk about the kind of wedding that you want. It is possible that you want an intimate wedding but your partner wants a grand wedding. Have a detailed discussion on this and don't forget to talk about the expenses. You and your partner need to be on the same page about who is paying for which wedding expense. It is unfair if only one person and their family have to pay for everything.

12. Do you want pets?

You deserve to know if one day you want to get a pet, and how your partner is going to feel about it. Maybe they want a pet just as much as you do, maybe they can't stand living with a pet animal. Either way, it is a conversation worth having. 

13. What are your food choices?

Are they a vegetarian or non-vegetarians? How do you feel about it? Are you alright with sharing the kitchen with them if they eat a non-vegetarian diet and you don't? If these questions pop up in your head, ask your partner right away but be gentle about it, of course. 

14. What are your love languages?

There are five primary love languages: physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gift giving and words of affirmation. Ask your partner about their love language and tell them about yours. It will bring the both of you closer. 

15. How do you plan on strengthening your relationship with your in-laws?

When you marry, you also become related to your partner's family. It is obvious that you cherish your relationship with your partner but what about your relationship with your partner's family, aka your in-laws? You must take active steps to spend time and strengthen your bond with your in-laws and your partner must do the same. This is a good way to ensure that you are both have a healthy relationship with your in-laws that is full of love and respect. 

Also Read: 10 Questions Every Bride Must Ask Her Prospective Groom to Know Him Better!


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15 Important Questions You Must Ask Your Partner Before You Get Married!

by Pratiksha Pandey

15 Important Questions You Must Ask Your Partner Before You Get Married!